Wisconsin's brandy 'Old Fashioned' will make bourbon purists lose their minds

TOP SHELF

Wisconsin's Brandy Blasphemy: Why This "Old Fashioned" Will Make Bourbon Purists Lose Their Minds 🥃

Your Old Fashioned game is about to get body-slammed by Wisconsin.

We're talking brandy instead of bourbon. Sprite instead of sophistication. Maraschino cherries that glow like nuclear waste. Your drunk cousin from Milwaukee.

The Setup That'll Break Your Brain

You walk into a Wisconsin supper club. Order an Old Fashioned. The bartender grabs Korbel brandy and starts muddling fruit like they're making sangria.

You're about to witness cocktail sacrilege! And you're gonna love every sticky, sweet second of it.

What Makes Wisconsin Different (Spoiler: Everything)

Your Classic Old Fashioned:

• Bourbon or rye

• Sugar cube

• Angostura bitters

• Orange peel

• Maybe a splash of soda

Wisconsin's Unholy Creation:

• Korbel brandy (and ONLY Korbel)

• Two maraschino cherries

• Orange slice

• Sugar cube

• Angostura bitters

• Drowned in Sprite

Yeah, you read that right. They drown a perfectly good cocktail in lemon-lime soda.

Sweet, Sour, or Press — Choose Your Fizzy Fighter 🥊

Ordering like a local means knowing the lingo:

Sweet: Sprite or 7-Up finish (Basically liquid candy with a brandy backbone).

Sour: Squirt or sour mix (For when you want your tongue slapped awake).

Press: Half club soda, half lemon-lime (The "I'm trying to be healthy" option that still tastes like dessert).

Don't even think about swapping the Sprite for fancy tonic. This drink runs on maraschino syrup and artificial fizz.

Mess with that formula and you've missed the entire point.

The Brandy Backstory (It Actually Makes Sense)

Why brandy? Because history, that's why.

Post-WWII America had a whiskey shortage problem.

European immigrants brought their brandy preferences. Wisconsin's German heritage embraced it harder than a December hug.

Korbel brandy became the people's choice — cheap, available, and perfect for drowning in fruit and fizz.

In 2021, Wisconsin lawmakers made it official: the brandy Old Fashioned became the state cocktail. Because sometimes democracy gets it right.

The Beautiful Disaster 💥

Let's be honest. This drink is trash.

Glorious, unapologetic, sticky-sweet trash.

Some craft cocktail heroes have tried to "elevate" it.

San Pellegrino instead of Sprite. Fancy cherries instead of Day-Glo maraschinos. Premium brandy instead of Korbel.

They're missing the point harder than a blind archer.

Why It Works (And Why That Pisses People Off)

The Wisconsin Old Fashioned doesn't pretend to be sophisticated. It's a Friday night fish fry drink. A tailgate party in a glass. A middle finger to cocktail snobbery. A Packers fan.

It's loud, cheap, and fun. Everything your bourbon collection wishes it could be on a Tuesday night.

The Real Talk Section 🎯

Where This Belongs: Pull this out when you want to start fights at your next bourbon tasting. Or when you're tired of pretending complexity equals quality.

The Hunt: Any Wisconsin bar worth its cheese curds. Don't bother trying to recreate this at home unless you've got Korbel, neon cherries, and zero shame.

Trade or Bunker Tip: You don't bunker this. You embrace it. Let it remind you that sometimes the best drinks are the ones that don't take themselves seriously.

Rick's Final Thought 🧠

If the Wisconsin Old Fashioned were a person, it'd be your buddy who shows up to the bourbon tasting in cargo shorts and a brewery t-shirt — and somehow has the best stories of the night.

Next time you're in cheese country, lean into the chaos. Your bourbon palate might hate you, but your soul will thank you for the reminder that not every great drink needs to be complicated.