This Bourbon Flavor Chart Is Lying to You (And How to Actually Use It) 🥃

That VinePair flavor map hit my feed again. Pretty colors, decent placement — but here's what this chart actually means for your hunting game.

The Real Translation Guide

• Sweet Corner (Top): Gateway drugs and party pours.

• Spicy Corner (Bottom): The bottles that separate rookies from veterans.

• Delicate Side (Left): Training wheels territory.

• Rich Side (Right): Heavy hitters that demand respect.

What this really means: Forget the fancy flavor talk — this is your hunting roadmap.

Sweet Spot Gold Mine 🍯

Angel's Envy & E.H. Taylor SmB

Chart says: High sweetness, moderate richness.

Rick reality: These are your flex bottles that won't scare off civilians.

The Intel:

• Angel's Envy: $50-60, findable, perfect trade ammunition.

• EHT SmB: Allocation unicorn — see it? Buy it. Period.

Pro move: These impress your wine-drinking in-laws without starting a fight.

The Spice King Throne 🌶️

Booker's Owns This Corner

Chart position: Maximum spice, maximum richness.

Translation: This is the bottle that makes or breaks your bourbon credibility.

📊 Quick Stats:

• MSRP: $89.99 (good luck).

• Proof: 120+ proof heat.

• Hunt Difficulty: 🍾🍾🍾

Real talk: We think Booker’s is okay. People go crazy for it because of the packaging.

Daily Driver Dynasty 💪

Wild Turkey 101 & Knob Creek

Chart shows: Right-side muscle.

Rick knows: These are your everyday workhorses.

Why you need these:

• WT101: $23, everywhere, punches like a $60 bottle.

• Knob Creek: $35, reliable flavor bomb, converts skeptics.

Hunting hack: Stock up during sales. These are your measuring stick for everything else.

Training Wheels Territory 🎭

Basil Hayden's & Four Roses Yellow Label

Chart placement: Far left wimpy zone.

Actual use: Converting whiskey haters since forever.

When to deploy:

• Office gifts that won't offend HR.

• Mother-in-law's first bourbon.

• When someone says "I don't like whiskey."

Bottom line: Nothing wrong with approachable — just don't expect group chat respect.

The Secret Weapon Zone 🎯

Buffalo Trace, Woodford, Maker's Mark

Chart shows: Balanced sweet/spice, moderate everything

Rick reality: Your gateway drug arsenal

The strategy:

• Start newbies here before moving to allocated stuff

• Always keep one for mixing (yes, even BT)

• Perfect for blind tastings when bourbon snobs need humbling

What This Chart Won't Tell You 📊

Missing from this pretty picture:

• Hunt difficulty — EHT is unicorn-level vs. Eagle Rare shelf status.

• Secondary prices — half these bottles cost $200+ in parking lots.

• Batch variation — Booker's swings wildly between releases.

• Allocation reality — good luck finding Weller at any price.

The Chart Hack Strategy 🕵️

Use this for: 

✅ Explaining profiles to bourbon babies.
✅ Building shelf diversity.
✅ Setting expectations before the pour.

Ignore this for: 

❌ Actually finding these bottles.
❌ Current market reality.
❌ Your personal palate preferences.

Your Battle Plan 🎲

Building a collection?

1. Hit each corner to map your taste preferences.

2. Stock the middle for daily pours and guests.

3. Hunt the sweet corner for trades and special occasions.

Chasing allocations?

• EHT SmB deserves respect despite the "sweet" label.

• Angel's Envy: easier find, still impresses normies.

• Weller's chart position means nothing when it's impossible to buy.

Rick's Final Thought

Flavor charts are like Tinder profiles — they look good on paper, but reality hits different 🤣

Your palate doesn't give a damn about infographics. The only way to know what works is to drink more bourbon.

(read that again)

Now stop reading charts and start hunting bottles.