America’s Spirit Animal: How Bourbon Took Over the World 🥃 🦅

TOP SHELF

WHY BOURBON SCREAMS 'MERICA LOUDER THAN A BALD EAGLE SHOTGUNNING BEER 🥃 🦅

Baseball caps. Apple pie. Monster trucks. And bourbon — the liquid that bleeds red, white, and blue when you cut it.

But why is bourbon America's drink? Grab your glencairn and let's break it down.

BORN IN THE USA (LEGALLY REQUIRED)

Congress had to pass a law in 1964 declaring bourbon "America's Native Spirit" because it was that damn patriotic.

While scotch was busy being sipped by dudes in castles, bourbon was being hammered by farmers who just finished plowing fields with their bare hands.

Those early settlers (mostly Scots-Irish immigrants who knew a thing or two about booze) took one look at America's endless corn fields and limestone water and thought:

"We can make something better here."

And they did.

THE PATRIOT ACT (OF BOURBON MAKING)

Uncle Sam doesn't mess around when it comes to bourbon rules:

• Must be made on American soil (sorry, Canada)

• Minimum 51% corn in the mash bill (America's crop)

• New charred oak barrels ONLY (no recycling like those Scotch guys)

• Strict proof regulations that would make your high school chemistry teacher proud

These aren't random rules. They're the DNA that makes bourbon taste like freedom in a glass.

THE PEOPLE'S WHISKEY

While the Europeans were sipping fancy cognac and telling peasants to eat cake, bourbon was the workingman's pour.

Kentucky farmers were aging whiskey in charred barrels while perfecting that sweet corn mash bill. The result? A whiskey so good it made other countries jealous.

Bourbon doesn't care if you're a billionaire or a bartender.

It hits the same.

SURVIVED PROHIBITION (BARELY)

When the government tried to kill bourbon with Prohibition, it went underground like a true American rebel.

A few distilleries kept the spirit alive by making "medicinal whiskey."

Because nothing cures the common cold like 100 proof Kentucky courage.

After Prohibition ended, bourbon came roaring back like your uncle in his new muscle car with something to prove.

Ladies, watch out.

GLOBAL DOMINATION (WITH FLAVOR)

Today, bourbon isn't just America's drink — it's our liquid ambassador.

Brands like Buffalo Trace, Maker's Mark, and Jim Beam are showing the world what America tastes like. Every bottle exported is a small victory for American craftsmanship.

Meanwhile, cocktails like the Old Fashioned and Mint Julep have become international celebrities in their own right.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bourbon isn't just whiskey — it's America in a glass.

It represents innovation, rebellion, and the pursuit of happiness.

(which sometimes means pursuing that allocated bottle your buddy scored while you were sleeping).

So next time you pour a glass, remember:

You're not just drinking whiskey — you're drinking history. American history.

And that's worth raising a glass to 🥃